Thursday, May 15, 2008

Pain and Tired.

Okay, to start thing off. Pain + Tired. Yes from school. And i injured my arm this time round. Damn Suf, he kick the thingy too hard, my arm actually fly backwards and kinda fracture it. Bleh. Then just now after bathing, my left arm / chest area starts to hurt again. Damn it man. The other time it hurts starting from arm, chest then the entire chest. Even when breathing lightly it HURTS. ARGH. Im seriously sick of this. Dont know what the hell is my body up to. Pain here and there. Didnt went doc. Dont ask me to. Since I already kinda gave up on life? Guess so. Pain and tired, another reason being her. Ya. I tired my best. Waited for so long. But it just doesnt seem to have any improvement. No fate? Guess so. Its not like im complaining of waiting. But seeing no progress at all, makes me feel REAL pain and tired. Its like wanted to be with someone you love ALOT and DEEPLY but it will NEVER happen. Hais. Not being EMO. I've changed. I voiced out what I feel. This is what I had become. After so much pain endurance. Finally, I cant really take it anymore. Feel like SHOUTING out LOUD man. And just die. Maybe we are seriously not fated to be together? Or she might already have fallen for someone else. If thats so, may I PLEASE ask you to once and for all say it to me. And I WILL give it up FOREVER. Putting down all the past, memories and moments. You always just said dont know or go 1 big round without exactly saying how you feel or your decision. Seriously, it kinda torture me inside. I wanna step out of this "Torture" or "Torment", be it a happy ending or a bad ending. I dont want you to chat with me and treat me good as a FRIEND. I want to be someone special in your heart. Not just a friend. But you usually msg me, Im sure you treated me just a ordinary friend ya? Since you once said, you treat everyone good. Fairytales? I dont really believe it ANYMORE. Life is just that cruel. My heart is already basically DEAD.

Saturday is coming. The wish I had will jolly well not come true. Sad, but true. I gotta face the reality somehow. Though Im REAL sad, I tired forcing the tears back in. I wanna be "hard". Always getting soft on the inside makes me lose out all the time.

Played DJ Max 2. Now felt kinda better le. Songs always sooth me down. But wrong songs turn me EMO. Haha.

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|8:05:00 PM|

Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.comGet awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com