Saturday, November 17, 2007

Limit Break

Today morning, she just turned EMO again. I promised i wont and now its her turn. Ok. She kinda complain to me. This time round, i didnt go the soft way anymore le. I told her in a hard way, hope she really do understand and get them inside. She's just called me child and saying i dont know how important is money since my parents gave them to me whenever i want. Ok, this phrase really makes me mad. But i already did my best to console her and all that le.. Seems she dont really understand me as well.. I do understand sometimes, just donno how to express and i used a different way to solve it, asking her to think other stuff and such. Ending she thinks i dont care and dont understand her.. Hais. People who knows me should know i have a sucky temper. Getting angry easily. With her? I didnt at all.. I tried my best to cover it up and instead console her.. Sometimes.. Really.. Im just not suitable and "pei de shang" her.

Today she actually called me dar and muacks me again.. Im really very happy.. But i dont know whether does she mean it, or just trying to make me happy. Hais.. Its so sad sometimes. I will think this way cause she's so stress now and having the thought of giving up. So i cant really decide whether is it for real or just a lie.

I finding the same job as her but just different hotel is just hoping that, if we work till around the same hour, at least, somewhere out there, im with her.. Not at home slacking or what.. I dont want her to feel alone, lonely or feeling not cared for.. I do care for her. Just dont know how. I also hoped to sent her home whenever i can, but parents side should know noone can control. They wont allowed me to go out that late.. Unless its work. So working is just an excuse to have a similar lifestyle like her..

Just now chat with Darius for abit. Talked about her and us. Darius said i gotta try to understand her. Sometimes i do. Just dont know how to express out. And she thinks i dont understand. Seriously made me sad over this. I know she dont understand me at all as well. Which i dont even asked her to.. I just hope she can really FULLY accept me. Maybe its impossible. Though i promised to think positively. I know its not possible in my heart. Just hiding it. Not wanting to lie to myself. But oh well. Im a useless stead, person. So shant ask anything more. This is just life.

*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]*
|10:35:00 AM|

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